You will Never win 😂


It was around 8pm last night , Id just knocked up my signature dish of omelette and wedges, borderline Michelin star stuff I know!
Things at home have slipped back into a more normal routine since Christmas and the kids have been well again and sleeping. That thought crossed my mind as my two babies slept soundly and I virtually high dived myself in the kitchen for bossing parenthood and just generally being a legend.

‘Eeeeeeddddd’ came the screech from the other end of the house, this couldn’t be good I thought. ‘Wilf has thrown up everywhere!!’
Hmmm and he had.

The cot, his sheep skin, sleep bag, teddies were covered. He’d splattered it about like a muck spreader , I can only imagine he stood up and spun round whilst it was happened.
Anyway like a well oiled disaster response team we jumped Into action.
I did the search, rescue and human decontamination in the bath whilst my wife set about a forensic level clean down .
On went he second set of sheets , sheepskin and new bed clothes were ready. Everything was anti bac wiped and the soiled sheets ect went on a hot wash .
I hosed him down and in fairness he was in pretty good spirits , all considered.

Then we made a small but fairly devastating error. One which was rookie from a couple of seasoned pros…..We gave him a little milk to go back to sleep.

Nooo I hear you say? Well yes we did and All seemed well for an hour or so but then the dreaded noise came from his room again and we jumped into action once more. Back in the bath, stripped down and left near the washing machine (sheets not child). We Made the bed and sat and cuddled him for a while, unfortunately just when dressed he went again…. we were in big trouble now . We were out of sheets and the washing machine was still going!

That’s when the fun really started. We had to lift the eldest boy out of his bed and into ours , that went fairly well and then we slept with young Wilf in that bed. It was the last of the sick but for my wife it was a restless sleep and for me it was a mixture of being head of the laundrette and making sure the Big boy didn’t fall out of our bed whilst also trying to put the youngest room back together! Wilf decided to get up at 4 and has now had a nap.
I’m off work with him knackered and He’s having a ball, you wouldn’t know he’d been so I’ll. He has got daddy , his brothers toys and the house to himself.

The moral to this story is , if it’s going well Don’t even think about congratulating yourself. Because it will literally come back to haunt you! Also, no more milk, and 3 sets of bedding isn’t enough. Get ten jus to be sure 😂.

Anyway, the joys of parenthood knows no bounds. We’re back to bossing it today. How couldn’t you with a carpet like that!



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